Unpacking the Family Communication Patterns Theory
Through the lens of my personal life
Throughout my life, I have been blessed with a truly amazing family and have, for the most part, been lucky to grow up in a very healthy home life. While growing up, I have seen a plethora of families that do things much differently than my own family does and has their own unique priorities. No side is right or wrong as long as that specific lifestyle helps enhance the family and brings them joy in their life. There is a theory for these different dynamics and that is the Family Communication Patterns Theory.
The Family Communication Patters Theory (FCPT) states that there are two different dimensions that underlie the communication that family members have with one another. The first of these dimensions is conversation orientation. In my family, we would be considered to have a high conversation orientation because we are constantly conversing with one another, working together, and we all believe that communicating with family often is key in sustaining a happy and enjoyable family life. An example of low conversation would be like the Rose Family in the hit show, Schitt’s Creek. In this show, the Rose family does not converse much because that is what their family is comfortable with. They view interpersonal communication as a very low priority in the overall success of their family. Disclosure of intimate feelings is a lot less likely for families like this.
The second dimension in this theory is conformity orientation. This can be described as the degree to which families believe that communication among them should be similar to the extent of attitudes, beliefs, values, etc. A family with high conformity orientation is more likely to be stereotyped as a “traditional family”. In these families, children are expected to obey the parents and other elders who then in turn are the ones that are making the big family decisions. These families also prioritize the importance of family over any friends or outside acquaintances. They are also expected to sacrifice their personal goals for the sake of the family. A popular example of this would be the family in Good Luck Charlie.
On the other hand, families with a low conformity orientation emphasize the importance of diversity in attitudes, beliefs, values, etc. They encourage one another not to be afraid of being unique and branching out from the family if that is what makes them happy and prioritize individuals over the family as a whole. These families also view outside relationships as important as their own and the children have more say in the decisions made by the family.
As for my family and I, I believe we are unique in the sense that we are a blend of the two sides. While I believe we can be a more traditional family at heart, we also believe in family members going for their dreams and we encourage one another to chase them. Even if that potentially means leaving some of the family behind. We can be really close and talk about deep things with one another, but we also know when to call it and give one another space to breathe. That is a big reason why I believe my family is so unique.
At the end of the day, neither side of the dimensions given above are right or wrong. It is important that whatever the family is, they are truly happy with their lives. As long as the parents are involved in developing their child into a strong individual, that is what’s important. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, children are almost twice as likely to suffer grade problems and/or suspension in a fractured family. On top of this, it is important for your child to know just how important they are to the family and how much the parents care that they succeed. William H. Jeynes, of California State University, conducted a large study over the impact a parent can have on their child. In this study, he came to the conclusion that of all the ways a parent can be involved in their child’s life, nothing is of greater importance than how much they believe in their child’s ability to succeed. I know both of my parents believe in me and that is one of the greatest feelings in the world.
Egalite, A., By, Egalite, A., Bio, A., & Bio, A. (2020, July 17). How Family Background Influences Student Achievement. Retrieved November 17, 2020, from https://www.educationnext.org/how-family-background-influences-student-achievement/
Kaufman, T. (2020, January 30). Family Engagement and Student Success: What the Research Says. Retrieved November 17, 2020, from https://www.understood.org/en/school-learning/for-educators/partnering-with-families/family-engagement-and-student-success